If a parsley farmer gets sued can they garnish his wages No. 46 I got a new pair of gloves today but they’re both laughs which on the one hand is great but on the other, it’s just not right No. 47 I didn’t think orthopaedic shoes would help but I stand corrected 48. I was riding a donkey the other day when someone threw a rock at me and I fell off I guess I was stoned off my ass 49.
people who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders No. 50. it was an emotional wedding even the cake was in tears can you believe it we are almost halfway there I apologize for the continuation of the most corniest jokes on the planet but please like share and subscribe I promise to find even cheesier once for future content here we go again No.
51. I just got kicked out of a secret cooking society I spilt the beans 52 what’s a frog’s favourite type of shoes open-toed sandals 53 blunt pencils are really pointless 54.
6 30 is the best time on a clock hands down 55. two wi-fi engineers got married the reception was fantastic No. 56 just got fired from my job as a set designer I left without making a scene 57 what’s the difference between ignorance and apathy I don’t know and I don’t care 58.
One of the cows didn’t produce milk today it was an utter failure 59. adam and eve were the first ones to ever ignore the apple terms and conditions No.
Hello and Welcome to the Wonderful World of Stuff. Today we are looking at the wonderful world of one-liner jokes. So here we go. No.1: My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, I had to put my foot down.
No.2: I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any No.3: I failed math so many times at school I can’t even count. 4. I used to have a handle on life but then I think it must have fell off.
No.5. I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger but then it hit me 6. I heard there were a bunch of break-ins over at the multi-story car park that is wrong on so many levels No.
7. I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car No. 8. When life gives you melons you might be dyslexic 9. don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions. I Do!
No. 10. it takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do 11. I told him to be himself that was pretty mean I guess
No. 12.I know they say that money talks but all mine says is goodbye 13. My father has schizophrenia not to worry he’s good people 14. The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they always take things literally No. 15. I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory all I did was take a day off No.
16. Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician 17. never trust atoms they make up everything 18. my wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline she proper hit the ceiling 19.
I was addicted to the hokey pokey but then I turned myself around No.
20. I used to think I was indecisive but now I’m not so sure. No. 21. Russian dolls are so full of themselves 22.
the easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing someone’s cast 23. light travels faster than sound which is the reason that some people appear quite bright before you hear them speak
24. my therapist says I have a preoccupation for revenge we’ll see about that 25. a termite walks into the bar and asks is the bartender here No. 26 I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high she seemed somewhat surprised 27 people who use selfie sticks really need to have a good long look at themselves 28.
two fish are in a tank one says how do you drive this thing 29 I always take life with a grain of salt and a slice of lemon and a shot of tequila No.
30. just burn 2 000 calories that’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap No. 31 always borrow money from a pessimist they will never expect it back 32. build a man of fire and you’ll be warm for a day set a man on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life 33.
I don’t suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it
34. don’t worry the last thing I want to do is hurt you and it’s a very long list. 35. the problem isn’t that obesity runs in your family it’s that no one runs in your family No. 36.
today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation toward the local swimming pool I gave him a glass of water No.
37 I’m reading a book about anti-gravity it’s impossible to put down 38. doctor, there’s a patient on line one that says he’s invisible well tell him I can’t see him right now 39. atheism is a non-profit organization
No. 40. a recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it No.
41. the future the present and the past walk into a bar things got a little too tense 42. before you criticize someone walks a mile in their shoes that way when you do criticize them you’re a mile away and you have their shoes
43. last night my girlfriend was complaining that I never listened to her or something like that
44.maybe if we start telling people their brain is an app they’ll want to use it 45.
60. I refuse to go to the gym it’s part of my resistance training program No. 61. if attacked by a mob of clowns go for the juggler 62. the man who invented Velcro has died r.
i.p 63 despite the high cost of living it remains popular 64.
A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks is this stool taken 65 I can tell when people are being judgmental just by looking at them. No. 66 the rotation of earth really makes my day 67.
well to be frank with you I’d have to change my name 68. my friend was explaining electricity to me but I was like what 69 what if there were no hypothetical questions No. 70 are people born with photographic memories or does it take time to develop 71. the world champion tongue twister got arrested I hear they’re going to give him a tough sentence 72 pollen is what happens when flowers can’t keep it in their plants 73. a book fell on my head the other day I only have my shelf to blame 74.
communist jokes aren’t funny unless everyone gets them 75. geology rocks but geography’s where it’s at 76. I buy all my guns from a guy called t-rex he’s a small arms dealer No. 77. my friend’s bakery burned down last night now his business is toast 78 four fonts walk into a bar the bartender says hey we don’t want your type in here 79 if you don’t pay your ex or cyst do you get repossessed No.
80. when the cannibal showed up late to the buffet they gave him the cold shoulder No. 81. a Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three he says Uno Dos and poof he disappeared without a Tres! 82 fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity 83.
a ghost walked into a bar and ordered a shot of vodka the bartender said sorry we don’t serve spirits here 84. the man who invented knock-knock jokes should get a Nobel prize 85. I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday not only is it terrible it’s also terrible No. 86 a blind man walked into a bar and a table and a chair 87. a Freudian slip is when you mean one thing but meant your mother 88.
I went to a seafood disco last week and ended up pulling a muscle 89. I got a universal remote control I thought to myself this changes everything 90. how do you make holy water you boil the hell out of it No. 91 I saw a sign the other day that said watch for children and I thought that sounds like a fair trade 92 whiteboards are remarkable 93. I threw a boomerang a couple years ago and now I live in constant fear 94.
I put my grandma on speed dial the other day I call it Instagram No. 95 I have a few jokes about unemployed people but none of them work 96 I have a split personality said tom being frank 97 my teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much I told them just you wait 98 will glass coffins be a success remains to be seen 99. did you hear about the guy whose whole left side got amputated he’s all right now No.
100 the man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran No. 101 have you heard about the new restaurant called karma there’s no menu you get what you deserve we come to the end of another episode of the wonderful world of stuff thank you all for watching if you enjoyed today’s wonders please comment like share and subscribe I hope to see you all again soon.
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